Alexis Rayne | Exister

      I have struggled from the time I was in elementary school with my relationship with food. I tried Paleo, Keto, and Whole 30 before I was 15. I would try to go vegan, vegetarian, remove dairy, take away sugars, skip meals, and end up bingeing on everything that I had been trying to avoid. By sixteen, I had developed body dysmorphia and anorexia, eating hardly 200 calories a day.      Today, I am eating a full, fried chicken breast with bacon, fries, a tiny orange, and a brookie for lunch. There is no one over my shoulder, pressuring me. There is no one telling me I have to eat. And these are left overs that I could just throw away. But instead, I'm doing a tiny happy dance at my work desk as I eat the orange.      So how exactly did I go from not eating to happily consuming some of my old fear foods? 1. Trade restrictions for feelings     This one was probably one of my easiest. I cut out all of the restrictions and ...

Hello again!       I believe that this will be my first blog that is truly helpful in the direction of growth. From what I've learned about myself, I must first go back and acknowledge what has happened in order to cause my insecurities and lack of confidence before I can grow away from them.       Some of the occurrences I still do not prefer to talk about unless it is with a close friend, but others I think are more than okay to share.      Honestly, I had a fairly good and fortunate home life. My parents stayed together, I had a mostly enjoyable older brother, and cousins and grandparents were always close. Although certain things in my home life could have contributed to some of my insecurities, I cannot blame them on my home.     I believe the issues really started with school. I was a little chubbier than the other kids. I was taller than most of the boys and all of the girls. Looking back at pictures, I was not...