Food Relationships

    

I have struggled from the time I was in elementary school with my relationship with food. I tried Paleo, Keto, and Whole 30 before I was 15. I would try to go vegan, vegetarian, remove dairy, take away sugars, skip meals, and end up bingeing on everything that I had been trying to avoid. By sixteen, I had developed body dysmorphia and anorexia, eating hardly 200 calories a day. 

    Today, I am eating a full, fried chicken breast with bacon, fries, a tiny orange, and a brookie for lunch. There is no one over my shoulder, pressuring me. There is no one telling me I have to eat. And these are left overs that I could just throw away. But instead, I'm doing a tiny happy dance at my work desk as I eat the orange. 

    So how exactly did I go from not eating to happily consuming some of my old fear foods?

1. Trade restrictions for feelings

    This one was probably one of my easiest. I cut out all of the restrictions and just ate whatever I felt like eating. I slowed the pace of my consumption and stopped when my stomach felt satisfied. I never ate until I was stuffed or full, just enough to where my tummy was happy.

2. Don't eat something that you might regret 

    No, this is not something you will always have to do. And it does not mean restricting yourself. It means that if you know you're having a bad food day, make yourself a pretty plate of things that are good for your body. 

    

    I make sure to do this at least once a week. Sometimes twice. I make one or two eggs scrambled with cheese and put those on a pretty plate with arranged orange slices, a piece of toast with strawberry jam, one or three dark chocolate Hershey's kisses, and hot tea. 

    

    None of these things are fear foods for me and none of them give me a tummy ache, headache, or make me feel guilty later. 

3. Remember to eat, but don't force it

    Eating is super important. It fuels your body and allows you to do amazing things that you could never do without food. Nevertheless, eating is still hard sometimes. 

    

    In the beginning, I made sure that I was rarely alone for meals. I always had someone with me who was also eating that I could chat with. The talking was distracting me from the fact that I was eating and I was never the only one consuming foods. 

    

    When I had to be alone, I would set reminders and often read or do other things to distract me from the fact that I was eating. I had three meals on my daily todo list and I was determined to eat them all. I was not in this mindset to cure myself though, only to prove that I had no disorder. 

    I did learn though, that two meals is good enough some days. Other days I may need three and a snack. Sometimes I may only eat small snacks. And all of that is okay as long as I'm getting plenty of intake to healthily power my body.

4. Set small goals

    If we wake up and decide, "hmmmm, I'm becoming a health model and representative," with no small goals to get there, we will never get there. We need to have small goals to guide us and make sure we safely get there. Eating is the exact same way.

    

    We might first want to make a list of foods that make us feel good, another list of what doesn't really effect how we feel, and then a final list of the foods that make us feel bad. 

    

    Then, we might try to eat at least one meal a day. Once that's not so hard, add in a snack or an additional meal. Set little personal goals that push you and lead to a larger end goal, but not ones that push so hard that you give up.

5. Reward yourself 

    Setting and reaching goals, especially difficult ones that take a lot of work, deserves to be rewarded. After you accomplish every goal, reward yourself with something that makes you happy. Whether that's a piece of chocolate cake, dinner at your favorite restaurant, or something else entirely, you deserve a reward. 

6. Limit negative sources

    This one is fairly difficult, but probably one of the most important steps. Unfollow the bikini influencers on Instagram, delete that girl off of Snap Chat, and get rid of that friend that makes negative comments about you. It's difficult, but we cannot move on with those influences and thoughts. Their negative influence is messing with our entire being, and hardly effecting them, and if it is effecting them, it's not in a good way. 

7. Change your mindset

    I actually loved making this change. It takes time and effort, but it's an extremely relieving change. This is where we look at that bikini model, compliment her in our mind, and do not compare ourselves to her. This is where we comprehend that modeling, lighting, and photoshop could be large contributors in her looking so good, and we appreciate our body for who she is. 

8. Understand anatomy 

    I'm sorry baby girl, but that little bump at the bottom of your tummy will not go away. That's you uterus. And also, there is such a thing as a healthy amount of body fat to keep you protected and warm. Your body needs a little bit of that. 

9. Be nice

    To your body and yourself and others. What you tell your body matters. If you look in the mirror and thank her for getting you through the day and taking care of you, you will be much happier than when you tell her that you hate her. Talk to yourself the way you would comfort your best friend if they were going through the same struggle that you are. It's not easy, and self support is so important. 

10. Be happy

    Smile at your tummy, your arms, your thighs. Grip them and giggle. Grin when your body jiggles a little. Kiss those parts of yourself that you didn't like yesterday. Continue to do so until it becomes a habit that's no longer forced and you love those parts of yourself. 

    Loving yourself and being happy with your body is extremely difficult, especially as a female. Social media makes it even more difficult. We take that out on our bodies and sometimes that effects us a lot worse than we wish it would. It's hard to recover from bad relationships with foods and eating disorders, but hopefully these tips have helped and will allow you an easier recovery.

I love you