Leaving When Nothings "Wrong"

 

    If you're reading this, then you probably already know that even though nothing is wrong, something obviously isn't right with whatever situation that you're currently in. It should be easy that if nothing is wrong then everything must be right, but you and I both know that it isn't always that simple. 

    First, I want you to know that I started writing this in aspects of a romantic relationship, but now I am realizing that it can apply to a variety of situations. My experience in this subject is coming from my most recently ended relationship, a few older relationships, and now a job position that I had to leave. 

    First of all, if you're reading this, then you more than likely already know if you should leave or not, but I will gladly give you the reaffirmation that you are searching for. Here are my main signs that I look for when I start to feel less than comfortable in a situation. 

1. Are You Happy?

    Not specifically in one situation during a certain time. That sounds a little confusing. When I was with my ex, I thought I was happy. When I would see him or hug him or do specific things with him, I was happy in those moments, but it took me months to realize that aside from those moments, I was unhappy in our relationship. 

    Looking back, I feel as though a lot of my relationships and friendships might have been this way. Yes, there were moments where the windows were rolled down and we were singing at the top of our lungs, but does that makeup for when we were miserable or you stabbed me in the back? No way!

    Sometimes there are enough moments of happiness to convince you that you're in a happy relationship, when in fact you're just hanging on to those moments and generalizing. You deserve a happy situation whether it's in a relationship, job position, or housing situation, you deserve happiness and if that takes a little risk, I promise you it will most likely be worth it in the end. 

2. Are You Growing? 

    Every healthy situation should allow and promote you growing without too many issues. I was once in a relationship where I completely stopped advancing. I stopped wearing makeup, most of the plants in my room died, I didn't put nearly enough work into my goals or ideas, and I lived in leggings and gym shorts. 

    When I began to work out nearly daily, stopped asking for ice cream, and began working a lot more, problems began to appear in our relationship. I realized that I was in a relationship with a non-working, unmotivated boy would probably never put in the effort to have the kind of future that I knew I was capable of, so I left.

    I had a similar situation with a job. I was miserable at work, wasn't making nearly enough money, and was either working daily or every other week with no warning of what my schedule may be. I had to start working two jobs to make up for the instability, and finally quit my first job. Now, I work at a job that I love with people I enjoy and the ability to create during my work hours. 

    If you're in a situation where you feel like you're stuck in the same place or possibly even regressing, It's time to move on to better things. 

3. Is This What You Dreamed Of?

    If you're not in a castle with price charming about to inherit millions of dollars worth of gold, that's okay. There is still room to grow and improve. Maybe you're not working your dream job, but you're in a promotional line to do so. That's fine! Just stay on the look out for a different or quicker route to your dream job in case it presents itself to you. But if you want to be a doctor and you're waitstaff at 30 and not enrolled in any college, get off your butt and give that waitstaff job to someone who wants to work in the food industry!

    Maybe you're dating this really sweet boy who does his best to make you happy, but his best consists of sitting out the couch, playing video games, and using your gas. You deserve better than that! Single is way better than staying in a relationship that's less than you deserve. 

    If the position or situation that you're in isn't what you dreamed of or going in that direction, then it's time for a change

4. What's Not "Right?"

    When nothings wrong but we're still questioning things, it usually means that something, somewhere just isn't right. It is usually really helpful to look at your situation and find whatever it is that's tugging at your heart or mind. 

    When we find this thing, we can evaluate how "not right" that thing is and if it's worth working on or just moving on. Sometimes this is a really hard decision to make due to outlying factors like mouths to feed or your first love slipping through your fingers. How do you just quit your job when there are bills to pay? 

    Even though the risk may seem to outweigh the benefits, sometimes we have to take that jump regardless or we will continue to be stuck in the 'not wrong but not right' criteria that drains us all. 

5. Can It Take You Where You Want To Go?

    If you want a sexy millionaire pilot as a husband, you may not want to stay with the gamer boy who would be content as a fast food employee for the rest of his life. There's nothing necessarily wrong with him being the way he is, but the likelihood of him becoming that sexy millionaire pilot is super small.

    Or maybe you want to be the sexy millionaire pilot yourself. Are you going to get there by scooping ice cream downtown? No! Go skydiving, talk to pilots in your area, figure out how to take flight lessons, and start eating better and working out to get that sexy body you want. 

    Personally, I wanted a manly man who could fix things, had lots of knowledge, and could provide for a family in the future. I was dating a skinny boy who was my height and I had to teach him how to dress for an interview that he didn't even go to. Even though I liked him most days, there was no real reason for me to stay other than the fact that I was comfortable.

    If the current situation that you're in has no potential to take you in the direction where you plan to succeed, why are you still in that situation? Don't just hang out in a position that you're used to and expect great opportunities to come your way. Most good things must be worked for and earned, they don't just offer themselves up to you. Move towards something that you want to work for that can form proper results towards your goals.

    Leaving, moving on, and taking risks can be extremely difficult, especially when your comfortable and lack motivation. Sometimes, taking that leap may even seem like too big of a risk for your commitment, but once it's all over, you'll wonder what took you so long.

I love you and I hope that everything feels "right" very soon!!